The outcome of the design report was disappointing.
Its was not professionally presented due to the lack of time.
I could have done better. Much better.

Commoners

The more I learn, the more I realize that we are different.
The more differences I see, the more rejection I feel.
Commoners.What a derogatory word.
Yet, I can easily use it to refer you nowadays.
Indeed, we are different.
You are just commoners.
And even though we are not that different originally,
I am ashamed by your existence, your ignorance.
After all,
you are nothing but commoners.

Its 6:47am of 25 Oct 2009 as I am writing. I've spent the whole night in the engineering design lab working on my design report. I feel awesome now. Its a new record. Alright, time to head home and get some sleep.

I went to the gym and stayed only for 15 minutes.
I wasn't in the mood.
I somehow felt weak.
Its probably the big breakfast.

Strong

"He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty" - Lao Tzu

I am who I am today simply because years ago,
I've decided to grow stronger.
I want to be able to shoulder the world,
to be able to be relied and depend on.
I don't want to depend on others,
and affected by their decisions and emotions.
I want to be able to defeat others,
not just through mere skills and intelligence,
but through will and determination.
I want to be able to fight my own battle,
and to claim my own victory.
I want to live with pride,
confident in my own strength.

Today, years later,

I wonder if I'm indeed stronger.

We went to a cyber and played some LAN game.
Then, a horrible motion sickness followed.
What a lame way to end my awesome day.
Geez.

Resolution

I sit on the grassy lawn outside of law building, sun basking. Witnessing the array of trees with emerald green leaves sprouting out, I feel at ease, relaxed. Clusters of students scattered across the lawn, leisurely. With some chit-chatting, playing guitar, and reading. Buildings surrounding the lawn blocked most of the noises from the nearby streets. Sitting here, embracing the warmth, I discovered a hidden sanctuary amidst the urban development. No primary forest, no thousand years old river. Yet, fresh air, soothing atmosphere and serenity prevails.

I want people in 50 years time to be able to indulge in what I do today. That is why I am determined to be an environmental engineer. To ensure that the others have the equal opportunity, to ensure that the quality of the environment do not deteriorate.

I'm still in my bed.
This has been the case for the last two weekends.
I am glued to the bed.
And there goes the beautiful weekend.
No, it will be different this week.
It will be.

Some people want to retire at the age of 40.
Seriously, I don't get them.
What are they planning to do after 40?
Sit and rot? Sounds like a great plan.

Addiction

Addictions come and go. Sometimes it is temporary, other times, it can be for life. Regardless of the duration, giving in to addictions is always pleasurable. Though it might be bad in the long run, that surge of immense instant sensation is overwhelming. You can't help but to want more.

And nowadays, I'm addicted to: U.V. light (the sun), chocolate (still same old), sushi, juice, gym, Don Tojo and my comfy bed.

Life is good. In fact, even better with addictions.

Food for Thought

I'd thought an almond croissant in lecture was bad enough,
but not until when I see someone with a bowl of soup noodle in my Investment lecture.
Asians. They make wonders.

And there was this group of 3 ladies in their mid forties on table 6.
Pleasant and sophisticated, they were.
One of them looked at me in her mesmerizing pair of blue eyes.
She said I'm a good man and they'd like to take me home.
If only they were 20 years younger.
Did I mention I like my job?

Three Cups of Tea

One Man's Mission
To fight Terrorism and Build Nations...
One School at a Time

And his name is, Greg Mortenson. Though he failed to climb K2 in Pakistan, he had eventually conquered a more challenging peak. Through the book, I see passion and determination. Through the book, I see Islam and Muslim in a new perspective. Though we are different, we are some what still the same.

Trust

I was reading "The Speed of Trust" by Stephen M.R. Covey when I was in PNG. Interesting concept of relating trust with speed and cost. In this new world that we are working in now, trust seems to be a characteristic highly sought after. True. I definitely agree with the potential benefits sprouting from trust, but what about the consequences of mistrust? Examples given are after all selective, right? I do have some bad experience with trusting someone. A failure of extending what we call a smart trust.

Anyway, Stephen claims that there's five different types of trust: Self Trust, Relationship Trust, Organization Trust, Market Trust and Societal Trust. For each type of trust, there are some underlying principles. These are:

Self Trust: Integrity, Intent, Capabilities, Results

Relationship Trust: Talk Straight, Demonstrate Respect, Create Transparency, Right Wrongs, Show Loyalty, Deliver Results, Get Better, Confront Reality, Clarify Expectations, Practice Accountability, Listen First, Keep Commitments, Extend Trust

Organizational Trust: Principle of Alignment

Market Trust: Priciple of Reputation

Societal Trust: Principle of Contribution

Well. Trust, I shall now try.

Bye bye Body Shop and hello Aesop.
Project "Aesop-nization" is in progress.